


What For (Fall)

by blindtaleteller



Series: Platovember Prompts 2020 [18]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Anxiety, Chaos, Chaos Theory, Gen, Lokiverse - Freeform, Manipulation, Mixology (Lokiverse), Questions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:08:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27809611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blindtaleteller/pseuds/blindtaleteller
Summary: Tony is left to rehash and relive the events of the New York Invasion as they happened on his world; in a universe where he wasn't the one to close the portal. In fact; a universe where he knows very well he would not have survived past being pitched off of the Tower out the window of his penthouse near the top floor in the first place; leaving him with questions he can't answer on his own..
Relationships: platonic - Relationship
Series: Platovember Prompts 2020 [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1999015
Kudos: 1
Collections: Frostiron (loki/tony), Loki, Platonic Relationships, Prompted Writing





	What For (Fall)

**Author's Note:**

> Universe/Door 15's Leadsprite; long before the explosion that made everything so, much worse.

  * IDENTIFY LOCATION: LEADSPRITE - INTER-DIMENSIONAL IDENTIFICATION CONFIRMED : HVRA0616-9H-15
  * \---INTER-UNIVERSAL DOORWAY ENTRY POINT H15 : OBSERVATIONAL STATUS - TVA INTERFERENCE: _DETECTED. A-2 INTERMEDIARY DEPLOYED IN UNKNOWN VARIANCE.  
_
  * \----MIDGARD NORTHERN HEMISPHERE : NORTH AMERICAN CONTINENT : METROPOLITAN AREA DETECTED - VISITATION CAUTIONS **_HEAVILY ADVISED_** : NEW YORK
  * \------KNOWN DOMESTIC TIME VARIANCE :4:54 PM US EST



##  -=W H A T F O R=-

The pang and immediate recognition of what he'd thought at first was luck.

Anxiety, catching the view of the street whip past his view twice when he'd flipped as many times.

Out just far enough, he realized now. Enough not to bounce off the odd taper of the building.

Enough not to get crushed with the pull of gravity against his own weight and gained velocity to his very squishy parts meeting steel, and concrete and more glass.

Far enough out nothing else had interfered with his downward plummet.

Nothing at all to interfere. No power lines. No lamp posts. No ... nothing.

That was one of the parts that still had his hands shaking, thinking about it. Had him bent over his knees rubbing his thumb at the middle of his left palm. Half expecting some pain to start shooting up or down that side, as an added complication to his already stupidly fatal if short list of heart problems. The grab too; his damned quick head reminded him: the strength he had, proven between Stuttgart and .. even just the throw. Tony was what? Just a chubby house cat's weight away from being two hundred pounds? He knew physics. Understood what it meant instantly; doing the kind of math he did every day figuring out just how strong he would have to be, to throw him out that far; with that little effort and that much accuracy. And it made him wish he didn't see it; because that lined up too: Loki could have snapped his neck like a twig and been done with him right then and there.

And of course they were asking him to tell them again.

Of course, they were asking for him to relive it. Like he hadn't been; every motion, every ounce of natural fear the suit wouldn't get there on time. Every piece of dread realizing it wouldn't about halfway down; because he did know physics: and because Jarvis had warned him about the malfunction. Because he hadn't had another one in range that wasn't already being torn apart for repair after he'd landed up there, to stop him. Because even if he had deployed another suit from the trunk in the garage _under_ the tower; according to the math and the layout: it would have arrived three seconds after his body hit the pavement.

_Yeah. Screw you math, thanks for nothing._

Because that's what he had: nothing, absolutely nothing except the calmly given story tall dark and scarily charming had driven into his brown eyes with those pale blues while Selvic was still in snooze mode: after Loki had cracked him across the face with the not-business end of the scepter; used it to shut the portal down just in time to cut what looked like a giant metal space fish coming out of it in half, shielding the both of them from the small shock wave and just.. tossed the glowstick at him to catch against his chest. He'd been right, with those first words; and somewhere in the shock, even then Stark had known he would be.

That they'd wonder, and pin and figure Tony had been tapped and turned, instead of saved. Instead of being yanked up on one of the first ..space scooters? After and pulled along for the fast ride up to his own roof while they kept pouring out of that huge hole before he had watched him just. Breath, in. Shut it all down, right there; while comms came back online and the guys already arriving on site were dealing with what little he had let through. Explained, all the things Loki was right about in that Tony couldn't say to them here, or now. Explained very quick and succinct, like he was presenting the work of a math figure Tony hadn't been aware of so he _could_ see it in as workable, clean a hand as it couldn't be ignored.

Done a whole other kind of math; the kind that added this person plus that one and the cameras they had passed and been caught by. Everything they knew below, pulled the physics of distrust and the things they thought they knew and would fight to keep as a truth, because and he'd said it: if they were wrong, and they were: if they had been manipulated on that level --and they were-- it wasn't something their pride would let them see until they proved it themselves. Tony hadn't actually had to say a word outside of the plan to see that proven. Bruce. Banner had cut right to it, seen the few gaps between the stitches; called them out and gotten Tony a little hopeful: until both Fury and then Thor had tapped the suggestion that what had happened could have been ..what Tony was seeing very clearly it was? Down and and yanked it out of the work area like a bad nail or some shit.

Which pointed how honest the assessments he'd tacked down up there after the fall he hadn't taken, thanks to far too sure hands and an even more prepared mind were. Not just about them, but about his represented family and how earnest Thor and how honest _his_ information was, and was being presented.

Isolation had been right too. How fast Jarvis was on getting him out of it in a legal term. Somehow; he'd even figured out almost down to the hour when Pepper would get there, visit him and push his release. If it didn't scare him so damned much; this completely unfamiliar territory, the physics of true chaos, as he'd called it: figuring where the wash would fall after the bubble had burst? He wondered if he would be able to pull it off. And admittedly, that made him anxious whether or not he was. They'd let him go tonight, or early early in the morning before dawn if Loki's math was right. The why he'd thrown at his back when he'd snagged the blue bullshit cube from the wreckage he made of the machine he'd busted for days to almost a week to put together, and left him up there with an unconscious astrophysicist, didn't get the answer he had wanted.

' _Because, that's how people work; Anthony. I built this, mm? Of course I know how to take it apart; though it does take a great deal more effort, not allowing it to blow up in our faces too early.'_

Which, scared him too when he thought about the wording. And then he'd just stepped off the roof, half slid down the slope of the building and used the momentum as added boost to almost throw himself to the buildings across the street; and effectively disappeared into the concrete jungle. " Unbelievable. " was repeated in his mind in the same tone he was saying it now, if minus the anxious, sardonic laughing tone at the end.

" Yeah well, that's the problem. " called his attention back to Natasha where she was sitting with her hand propping up one side of her face on the other side of the table he was turned away from in his seat. They'd taken off the cuffs at least. One of the signs he'd been told was him being close to being released. And he was .. Tony didn't know if he was scared about what was coming after or excited about it actually. Whether e should question the offer itself or the anxiety that had him wanting to screw the high possibility it was very real. He wasn't sure whether it was a relief Loki had warned him he'd be tempted to squeal, be feeling this way too; or something he should be just as scared of.

_Damned math. Damned physics. Damned rational fucking thought._ " Doin' me in like this. Ain't right. " hopped out of his mouth loud enough he knew he had to cover it with a continuation before it was even finished coming out of his mouth. "I've told this story what now? Twenty three? Twenty four times? " Came with an aggravated glance for the redhead he knew had been picked for exactly the reasons Loki had spouted off too; she was the familiar face who knew some of his tells and was meant to ease out anything he'd been holding back, while Nick was the hard ass meant to crack a hole in the surface. " I know what you're doing, and I get it I do Nat. But this story isn't gonna change, okay? I don't know where he is, I didn't.. cooperate. He didn't try to tap me again after the first four times didn't work -- you know; that's true: Bruce confirmed the reactor in my chest? Wouldn't let it; for whatever reasons. Selvic saw wrong. That's all. He got his dumb ass in between us when we got up there, caught the dead end of the stick meant for me to the face when he slipped on the gravel --also! Confirmed, I don't have to ask; cause I was there-- grabbed what he wanted after I snagged the glow-stick on the back swing: slid down the damn building and disappeared. "

All truth, as far as they were concerned. Not far enough from it to arouse too much more suspicion either. Gravel displacement, the lack of cameras up there. The fact the ones in the buildings across either had a blocked view or had been knocked out by the initial electromagnetic boom of the hole in the damned sky opening for that brief minute or two? Left them very little to go on other than 'the very believable word of the longest standing Avenger' as Loki had put it; and what they did see.

" I looked for him. " White lie. He'd only half followed through with it; teetering between distrust of the situation proven, versus the false facts Tony could see through and the trust he did have in those Avengers below after the suit had come in. " You saw me, looking for him; " Truth, absolute; they definitely had. " Thor already explained that disappearance even for me last time everyone was in this room: _which!_ You _know.. **woulda**_ been _nice to know_ he can disappear or turn into whoever he wants _before hand_ and raises a lot of questions as to just how honest he's been with us for me; since those abilities being what they are? Prolly would have had us actually catching him before Stuttgart... but _hey._ " hands up briefly to either side and he faced her, settling his right at a tap over the tabletop. " Sure. Let's go for twenty six. Right here yeah? _Right **now.**_ "

Which had Nat sighing and looking back at the one-way mirror. " ...what? What're we aiming for here; thirty? Forty? No wait! If we're gonna aim for a number, may as well make it a fun one right? " And why not. Why not add some pressure of his own, humorous or otherwise? " Forty two? Or sixty nine. I, like sixty nine! But _ya know,_ if we can pick apart the _meaning of the universe,_ it all _and_ everything by invoking the _other_ number? _Maybe_ we'll get a few fucking answers after the fact; _that I **don't** have!_ "

" Tony... " was that sort of dry, low and exasperated had him shaking his head and whipping that hand back and forth in the no motion that shut her up before he said it.

" I'm tired, I'm freaked out not having any more answers than you do -- maybe fewer than! -- after getting shoved out, dropped off and then PING-PONGED up my own damned skyscraper. Flying around town picking off the bit of army that got through; picking up the mess and checking on wounded, coordinating and taking part in S. & R. _with everyone else_ here after, not that there was much to do there! And I been **_stuck_** since; in between this room and a concrete bit with cot that feels like maybe they left out a few rocks when they were stuffing it;and some dude what won't show his face but watches me every time I take a piss in the open toilet in the fucking corner! "

" Tony -- "

" Because the first _twenty five fucking **times**_ still isn't _enough_ for whatever levels of **STUPID!** All damned caps if I'm dictating for anybody taking this down: are on the other side of that glass for it to sink, _the hell; **in.**_ "

Silence. Nat couldn't look at him after his anger and frustration and yes freak out mode met her eyes. " How many days, I been in here." had her folding her lips in. And he remembered something Loki had said. A small formula; but one he thought he could pull and use to his advantage here: because he had realized in venting some of it? That he didn't just want to get out and see if everything he'd brushed was real: he needed, to know. And that meant pushing it. That meant, a cost in energy elsewhere too, he was sure. He could guess where; knew it was a dangerous price? And was suddenly past caring. " I wanna know; cause right now the only thing I know for sure that couldn't be manipulated; is the fact that I can see trees through that skylight and it's been daylight every time I've come into this room. I wanna see my girlfriend; and my lawyers. Yeah Nat.. " his face was stone hard and he knew it. " Ses. Plural. I want all of them; cause clearly.. you trust me and therefor I now have reason enough to trust you and this treatment? Little enough to use every single one of them. Shield's going dowwwn, and I'll tell you how fast it's happening too: in under seventy hours through the very many levels of Geneva convention statutes broken, the interruption to my business, the illegal, disavowing of my personal and human rights, and well I am very sure once you all are very exposed by a very public very well known figure like mine? With my many bank accounts and worldwide pull to back it? It won't take long to get to who else needs to go with you. "

She got that look on her face that had one finger standing up between them to cut her off fast. " I'm tired of being threatened, tortured, and treated like less than an animal as thanks for my part now. This is where Jarvis does the prep for me, and the only say you get as pissed off and in need of at least some human decency as I am? Comes in the form of 'you're right Tony, twenty five times is enough' and telling me this is where we stop wasting time on continuing this, and start looking for him soon as you're recovered and not under the threat of the heart attack that feels like it's trying to creep it's signals down your left arm for the last who knows how many days: since you have such a great cardiovascular history in your medical file and my experience.' "

_Bingo._ That last had cracked her to attention, and had Natasha cutting her eyes briefly to said left arm; thinking back to just minutes prior when he'd been rubbing his wrist and then his palm. " Yeah. Someone forget I have several shards of shrapnel hanging over my heart is why I need the thing that kept him from turning me into a sock puppet like Barton? And that every few days I need to check and re-calibrate said thing keeping them from killing me? "

" I'll be right back. " was terse enough and had her up fast enough before he started the motions rubbing his wrist again that he knew he'd hit a nerve for her. Knew she was thinking about the issues he'd had , and been having that almost killed him last time his heart had really been brought up; thanks largely to the palladium running it's poison through his system. " You're stressing me the fuck out. So hurry it up and do something; or I will. " Was snapped after her before Nat could finisah closing the door. She had been the one to report it. She knew how ugly it got. And probably how close he came to pushing daisies.

_Cruel?_ A bit. But _really?_ Reason behind it or not; so had his treatment been. And that cruelty wiped out the reasons for him, too.

He couldn't smile or even laugh for the fact Loki had called that too: and driving his brain and calculations around it once he'd seen before he'd known had admittedly done exactly what the sharp-eyed god wanted it to and gave him extra armor to defend from it and the other things along those lines. Made him understand the kind of ammunition he had and could use to get out, and get his answers.

Six hours later: Shield did exactly what he'd calculated, and let him leave in Pepper and Hill's custody. Told him to come back in five days after rest and only after the brief re-examination of his heart confirmed the stress and reconfirmed it still matched everything they had on file prior to Stuttgart too. Apologies? There were a lot of those. More so after they'd realized that Jarvis actually had started collecting evidence and snatched the video from his fluorescent light only cell, outside the door to it: and yes, the interrogation room. Nick was about as humbled as he could get with his pride; and pissed Stark had taken a chunk out of it and Shield's in the process of his own lack of effort to keep trust between them. When he'd closed the car door next to Tony; Stark knew immediately with just the stiffness to his too easy apologetic smile that Loki was right about the surveillance and probably who was on it too.

Hill was the visible agent. Nat would volunteer, like he'd said. And Clint would want his piece, just for the paranoid, if true fact: that Loki might have a grip left on him after he'd caught and saved him from the fall.

He caught sight of Barton again as they pulled off; hanging back at the door but watching his car just as surely as Tony was watching him from behind the shades as he relaxed his spine into the cushy seat. Loki was right there, too. Barton was the tough one; he had his target set since his head had gotten clear. And the slightest suspicion meant Tony had a bead on his back Clint was watching, waiting for the excessively intelligent Trickster to pop up beside him somewhere. With no clue he already knew he'd be watching, and was probably more prepared for that and most else than any one of them could understand.

They were right too, on one other thing at least. He had played them all.

Was still, playing them all.

The problem was, that question. The one they forgot in the process. The one Loki had shot at almost immediately and laid bare. And the one that followed.

_Why?_

_And what for?_

Anthony Edward Stark, was an engineer, a mechanic; an inventor. At heart; past it even; a scientist.

And as one; and _especially_ a scientist with _a conscience,_ or so he professed if he wasn't going to be a _complete_ hypocrite: those particular questions couldn't go unanswered.

" Should only take a half an hour to get back to the Tower. " from the front of his car broke him back to the now, versus the hypothetical and philosophical internal musings Pepper was trying to bring him back from all on her own with the weave and squeeze of fingers around his. She was going to have the hardest time with this, he realized; before he faced the back of Hill's head and then Happy's eyes in the mirror. "No, it won't; because me and you are heading back to Malibu, agent Hill. I need to repair my current suits and crank out a few extras after my latest experience; cause I wanna catch 'im. Soon as I'm able. "

" Tony.. " from Pepper had him shaking his head and looking away out at the city passing by the car door. He kept his words tight; and his thoughts and plans tighter, closer to the vest. " Nope. No arguments for this. All that bullshit's gotta be worth somethin'. Shield can't do that for me --and they proven they can't-- I will. I need you to take care of re-speccing the Tower; making sure the rebuilds I'm planning go smooth, babe..? _Please?_ I trust Hill at least, huh. She was one of the few reaching for better treatment and _listening_ when I was telling 'em so. I just hope the trail ain't gone completely cold by the time I can pass for my usual, preferred mode of flight. "

Quiet and then what he knew in his peripherals was a brief confirming glance with Maria in front of him before " ..okay. I'll see what Jarvis can help me weed out between in the meantime? " really gave the sequence and his confirmation he absolutely should not tell Pepper unless he wanted to get busted the extra nail in the coffin. " Sure babe. "

And he was closing his eyes as they took the next turn. Letting his head settle atop the back of the seat and trying not to think about it. But there it was again.

The pang and immediate recognition of what he'd thought at first was luck.

Anxiety, catching the view of the street whip past his view twice when he'd flipped as many times.

Out just far enough, he realized now. Enough not to bounce off the odd taper of the building.

Enough not to get crushed with the pull of gravity against his own weight and gained velocity to his very squishy parts meeting steel, and concrete and more glass.

Far enough out nothing else had interfered with his downward plummet.

Nothing at all to interfere. No power lines. No lamp posts. No ... _nothing._

Just a dark streak of a shadow. Just blue eyes. Just strong hands catching hold of him.

Just the tuck of his head in against his chest and yank of his knees over one wrist. Just the small, turning toe-kick at the side of the telephone pole and few cracks that formed under his feet before he was set down and wordlessly checked over while people around them gawked almost as wordlessly and thoughtlessly as Tony had at the bottom of that fall.

Because if that was real; _and it **was:**_ then, didn't that make the rest and what came before it as good as a lie? Wasn't everything they _thought_ they knew just; another part of his equation? The math Loki was still running?

Because _...why?_

_And what for?_

The only mumbled answer he had confirmed on his own was that he didn't have any that didn't need that confirmation from another source. The only source that could, answer. " _......may as well still be falling._ " had the feel of Pepper's eyes on the side of his face following the words. And wasn't that the truth...


End file.
